It is a new year. For most, a new year means a new start, a change in lifestyle. For days now, ever since Christmas, I've been thinking what to write about, knowing that this is the best time for me to blog. But I couldn't just set my mind on one topic...there was so much to write about! A new year's resolution list would have been suitable, but there was so much more I wanted to share. So here goes...
For weeks now, my heart has been heavy. Ever since I went on winter break I got so distracted...distracted with the wrong things. Made too many plans to go out with friends, spend little time at home, and pick up as many hours I can at work to earn more money. Christmas shopping got to me, not only because I had a lot of presents to get, but there were many things I wanted to get for myself. I can honestly say that my selfishness has never been on full display until this winter break. The one season that is suppose to be about giving and about my Savior's birth is the time I showed the true amount of selfishness that was in me. I kept being reminded that I couldn't get everything I wanted...materially, physically, and emotionally. Nor did I deserve anything I thought I did. But through all the trials, heartaches, and sorrow, I was rebuked, taught, and humbled. And only through simple steps like these, my faith can grow.
Romans 12:3 "For through the grace given to me I say to every man among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith."
Because I thought I deserved more, deserved to be treated right and receive as much I gave, I got upset when it didn't happen. I wasn't thankful. And that is not a true mark of Christian. As Christians we are called to give, and give selflessly, expecting nothing in return. And realizing that always brings me back to what Christ did for me on the cross. Giving His life to those who rejected Him.
I was also told many times that people who get easily irritated and upset is because they are selfish. They cannot practice humbleness. Christians are called to love. And in the famous passage about love, the first word that describes love is patience. 1 Corinthians 13:4 "Love is patient" It is the very first word, and is the hardest to practice. If we can first realize this truth...that we need to practice patience in order to practice unconditional love, then it's the first steps to becoming selfless.
I know I have hurt dear ones that I loved the most with my pride, but above all, I've hurt my Lord, the one who died on the cross for my sins. I focused on myself, made others priority over Him, and that is why I could not display love and joy in my life. If my life is not filled with Christ, my life cannot show Christ in me.
So now, it's a new year again. 2011. My resolutions shouldn't just be for this year. My resolutions for next year shouldn't be different. My life resolution should be the same. My life is with Christ, therefore my life is in Christ, my life is for Christ. Philippians 1:21 "For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain." I cannot commit to any other relationship in my life if my relationship with Christ isn't fully and constantly committed.
My first priority stays with God, and my life commitment stays in Him. After that, the rest will follow. My life will become a better testimony, showing who God is in my life, and who I need to be to others. I cannot continue on, I cannot accomplish anything without Him.
It is amazing grace that saved a wretch like me, being lost, then found. Therefore, all I can do is live my life in Him, fully and completely.
-sv
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